In Loving Memory

 Funeral Flowers

Further Resources

For general information and advice (no charge) please phone Frances on 022 561 5620, or email info@diyfuneral.co.nz.

The Home Funeral movement is experiencing a resurgence worldwide. People are sick of being charged a fortune to die, and they are wanting to go back to dealing with death themselves, as a natural part of life, a rite of passage and something which should be dealt with in the most personal and intimate way rather than left to professionals.

People in the poorer parts of the world have of course been doing this all along, but momentum is now gathering everywhere in the western world for a return to more natural processes which are in keeping with our real spiritual, emotional and environmental needs. The following links will take you to many people and organisations who are actively supporting this movement:

Organisations (national and international) carrying out excellent work in the Home Funeral domain

Karen Williamson of Akeake Shrouds has put together a resources page which lists many of the people and organisations who are supporting home funerals in NZ. I will list some of the most helpful ones below with a description of what they do, but if you want to download a PDF document which contains all the links you can do so here.

  • Nga Pou Herenga - The Funeral Guides Collective are based in the Whakatane area and have been successfully guiding their community for many years. Their very informative website can be viewed here.

  • The Fare-Well Trust provides end-of-life and after death care and support to people wishing to die at home or use assisted dying services in the Marlborough/Nelson region. View their website here.

  • The Australian Home Funeral Alliance (AHFA) offers heaps of very useful information, including several educational videos which can be viewed here. If you are contemplating holding a funeral at home I strongly recommend that you watch these videos to get a really good idea of what is (or can be) involved.

  • The AHFA website has a page specific to NZ, including a very useful flowchart by Claire Turnham. One word of caution: the flowchart points to the NZ Government's "End of Life Services" website which contains very little information about carrying out a home funeral, and several links to funeral director associations. About the only useful piece of information for the DIYer that it provides is this link to the DIA's brochure Before Burial or Cremation. I will be contacting them soon to see if they will include information more helpful to DIYers, such as the links shown on this page.

  • The Kiwi Coffin Club is a registered charity which either helps people to build and decorate their own coffins, or will build them for you upon request. They are based in Rotorua but can ship anywhere in the country.

Services and support for people dealing with the end of life

Death Doulas

Death Doulas are people who step into the end-of-life space to help families through the process. They are often retired nurses who wish to support people in caring for the dying, dealing with the body after death and so on. Like the home funeral movement generally, there is a resurgence of interest in this work, both from people wishing to carry it out, and people who need it.

If you feel you would like support with any aspect of caring for a dying person, a Doula can help you.

If you live in the Wellington area, Melanie Humphries-Connolly is an experienced end-of-life Doula and registered nurse with a background in palliative care. She is available to support and advise families in all aspects of end-of-life care, and can be contacted here or on 027 633 1900. She is also co-facilitator of the Hutt Valley Death Cafe which provides a friendly and non-confronting space for conversations around dying, death and living.

If you live elsewhere in NZ, click here to see if an end-of-life Doula is available near you.

Grief Counsellors

Death and dying can bring up very strong emotions. Family systems and friendship networks can be severely tested during such a time. If you feel you need support there are resources available. You may be able to find free or cheap counselling in your area with an online search or by contacting the Citizen's Advice Bureau.

Lifeline provides counselling services by phone and text 24hrs a day 7 days a week.

For a more personally tailored service you may wish to contact a professional such as Claire Laurenson, who has over 30yrs experience of supporting people through their grieving processes. To see what Claire has to say about grief, and what she can offer, click here, or visit Grief Relief.

Funeral Directors in the Wellington and Nelson regions who are supportive of home funerals

Funeral services in the Wellington area

If you do feel you need the services of a funeral director for some or all of your funeral arrangements, as a matter of principle I always advise people to look for the sole operators. It can be difficult to find them as many small funeral companies have now been bought up by Invocare or Propel but continue to operate under the original names. Usually somewhere in the fine print at the bottom of the website there will be a giveaway, such as "this is an Invocare company".

Please bear in mind that many of the bargain basement cremation services being offered in NZ are owned by these two companies, so if you wish to avoid supporting large Australian corporations who may be attempting to undercut the small operators, do your research carefully and try to establish whether the person you are dealing with really is a sole operator, or whether they are part of a corporation. You might prefer to give your money to an ordinary person who actually needs to make a living, and probably has a mortgage to pay rather than shareholders to satisfy.

If you live in the greater Wellington or Horowhenua regions, I can thoroughly recommend George O'Donnell of Private Cremations, a lovely young man and one of the very few sole operators left, who is genuinely dedicated to providing affordable cremation services to ordinary people.

To contact him please phone George on 0210 231 4739, or email george@privatecremations.co.nz

Another Wellington-based funeral director I can highly recommend is Fiona King, also a sole operator. Fiona is a very helpful person who specialises in eco burials utilising the cemetery at Makara. Her website Broadbent and May is excellent. She has also given a wonderful TED Talk called "A Natural Undertaking" on taking back control of the funeral process.

Funeral services in the Nelson area

Lynda Hannah offers a holistic service which educates, supports, and assists families making low-cost and environmentally sustainable funeral arrangements themselves without employing a funeral director. Her website Living Legacies offers a wealth of advice. She has also written a handbook giving comprehensive advice on how to carry out a low-cost natural funeral yourself.

Owen Haring is a sole operator in Richmond who offers simple, direct funerals at a very reasonable cost. He is a very nice man and his website Simple Direct Funerals is interesting and informative and even includes a blog.

DIY Funeral workshops in the Wellington area

The organisation Death Without Debt aims to educate the public and advocate for change to current regulations and systems which are driving New Zealanders into funeral debt. DWD has been running workshops like this one giving practical information and assistance on how to arrange a home funeral. If you would like to attend a workshop in future please phone Fergus Wheeler on 021 163 3178, or email deathwithoutdebt@proton.me.

Paper resources - booklets you can order or read online

Living Legacies provides a handbook giving comprehensive advice on how to carry out a low-cost natural funeral yourself, which you can order from the website.

Arranging A Funeral

The following book is a classic in the DIY sphere and has been a valuable guide for many New Zealanders over the years:

"Arranging a Funeral:
What You Can Do Yourselves
~ A New Zealand Guide ~
by Philip Tomlinson

Click for more info >>>

Online Resources

  • The Spinoff recently published a Death Week special issue. Lots of good food for thought there.

  • An American site which also has plenty to say is the Order of the Good Death.

  • Lots of free legal advice on many subjects can be obtained from Community Law - Free Legal Advice.

    • Legislation

    Currently, these are the main acts and regulations affecting the handling of dead bodies and funeral processes in NZ:

    A review of the Burial and Cremation Act 1964 has been under way for several years, without results so far.

    Home - www.diyfuneral.co.nz

    While every effort has been made to present accurate and up-to-date information on this website, no responsiblity can be accepted for consequences arising from reliance on it. I encourage you to share it with anyone who may be interested in reducing the costs involved in saying goodbye to a loved one. Please use common sense, make careful local enquiries, and spread the word!